Two pieces

I just set down the latest issue of Real Simple, my favorite magazine. Inside is the question "What is your favorite outfit?" Several readers talk about dresses and suits, even their gardening clothes.

As of late, mine is my two piece swimsuit.

You read that correctly. For the first time in nearly 30 years, I own a two piece swimming suit, and I like it.

Don't get your hopes up gentleman. It's not a bikini. It's a tankini. A bikini bottom underneath a cute little skirt. A top with a wild print that covers the girls and my tummy. The whole top is supported by strings that tie behind my neck.

I don't know many women for whom a swimming suit isn't a big deal. For years, I tried to find a one piece that appropriately covered me, preferably while holding, balancing and sucking in all of those wobbly bits.

I hadn't bought a new suit in a long time. The last one cost way more than it should have, in order to suck in my stomach, only to leave my German-Belgian legs hanging out in all their pasty white girl glory. Seriously? It was enough to make my husband take the kids to the pool alone.

My new suit doesn't hold everything in perfectly, but it directs your eyes away from the pasty white girlness, and the print is such that you don't really notice my tummy. I feel confident in it. Confident enough to run around the pool or splash pad, playing with my kids, and not freaking out when my husband's coworkers show up with their families.

It only took thirty years, but I finally found a suit I like.

Huh? What? What did you say? A PHOTO?

ROFL!

I may feel confident, but I have given birth to multiple children. Don't hold your breath.