Marriage isn’t a goal. A long marriage is a goal.

Somewhere in between Smirnoff’s and Woodchuck’s on Friday night, a single friend of mine asked “Which would make you more proud of me, that I’m happy and single, or married?”

As he is single, and I’m married, such strange questions occasionally come up between us. I found the question, especially the use of the word ‘proud’ a tad odd. 

Am I proud of my friends who are married? Yeah… the ones who have been married for 10 years.

Am I proud of my friends who are single? Sure. Especially the ones who looked a wedding square in the eye and said “No, this isn’t a good idea right now.” 

Weddings are easy. Marriages are hard. A wedding isn’t a goal. The people who think it is are focusing on the white dresses, the tuxedo and the illusion of having one day in your entire lifetime that is ‘yours.’ 

Yeah… that’s not what marriage is about.  After 10 years, I may not know much about being married, but the white dress is in the closet, many of the gifts have been well-used (though some are still in the box) and my husband’s black shoes have been worn to every wedding since. 

Weddings aren’t special. Marriages are. 

Weddings are to marriages as job interviews are to jobs. For weddings and job interviews we put on special clothes that we would normally never wear, we talk about ourselves in ways we don’t normally. And then comes the first day of marriage and your first day on the job. That first year isn’t so easy.

So sweetie, am I proud of the happy and single you? Yeah. 

Will I be proud on your wedding day (if you ever have one?) Sorta

.

Will I be really proud of you, should you ever celebrate your 10^th anniversary? Definitely.

Trying to be thankful

My children have a book called the Thankfulness Song.  Today, at church I heard about being thankful.

Last night, my team lost and ended their season. What to be thankful for?

Let's see.

Thank you God for the Twins' two world championships (yeah, they were awhile ago, but the Vikes don't have any - not that I'm complaining)

Thank you God for a home town star player who recognizes that he is in a unique position - he gets to live his childhood dream, in his hometown, surrounded by his family. Thank you God for making him thankful for it (or at least look thankful for it.)  His contract gave me the confidence to buy that jersey I wear so proudly.

Thank you God for players who aren't perfect. Their professional imperfections may make headlines, but their personal imperfections usually don't.

Thanks God for game 2, when we were reminded that we're all human, and that the smallest of poor choices can dramatically affect a LOT of people. (It'll be a great RE example.) 

Thank you God for a manager who knows that using colorful language to a umpire is part of the game, but colorful language in front of a microphone is not.

God, thanks for making this series against a team who is so unlike our own. Help us not to "hate" them, but to reject them. Help us reject all that they stand for, and help us to become more rooted in our own values of hard work, loyalty and dedication to the game.

Thank you God for a season of cheering for a winning team. No, winning isn't everything, but we got to raise our glasses in victory an awful lot this year.


And God, thanks for letting me watch the 2004 World Series - all of it. No, my team wasn't there, but I'm still thankful. Every time it's referenced in the history books, I can tell my son that two baseball fans were born that night.