Taking care of our chlidren

Two days ago in Minnesota, a father filled a washtub in his basement with water, took his six month old son and held him under the water until he stopped thrashing.

His son is dead. My six month old is sleeping soundly in my room.

I want to cuddle with him now, but instead, I’m sitting here, writing, haunted at the thought of that other little boy.

You see, I haven’t been a perfect parent. I know that as a young mom, sleep deprived and stressed with my first crying baby, I shook my son harder than I should have. I yelled at him. I squeezed him more than I should have. I was scared. I was upset. I thought that babies should always be good and should always be quiet. I thought I was supposed to be able to fix everything.

I was wrong.

In my case, nothing I did in frustration ever hurt him. No bruises nor broken bones. Over time though, I learned what I hope my youngest readers will take to heart. For the most part, a baby crying in a crib is safe. A baby is the arms of a stressed, angry, frustrated adult sometimes is not.

As a parent or caregiver, you need to know yourself. When you reach your breaking point you must put the baby in a safe place and walk away. It’s ok if the baby cries.

I don’t know what happened to this father to make him snap. I hope we never know so all of us: parents, grandparents, babysitters, aunts and uncles don't dismiss this issue has "his" problem and instead think about how we take care of our children.

And I pray that God has taken that little boy into his loving arms, and his Mommy too.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go kiss my babies goodnight.